


Raise a Glass to Freedom

by DragonsAmazing (orphan_account)



Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: Drunk Alexander Hamilton, I don't actually. describe anything /sketchy/, Internalized Homophobia, M/M, Not really though, Swearing, also alexander is like. poor, also feels, but i think i only used one word???? twice???, nakedness???? in a few scenes i guess
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-04
Updated: 2016-07-04
Packaged: 2018-07-20 02:39:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 3,329
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7387270
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/DragonsAmazing
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Alexander Hamilton, the idiot that he is, is pretty much broke and hasn't told his friends anything. John Laurens will not stand for this.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. CHAPTER ONE

Alexander Hamilton, stubborn freelance writer that he was, had been living off Nabisco crackers, bananas, and milk for the past week.

     He was a writer, but he hadn't gotten any jobs for a while, and with the monthly rent for his small apartment due in a few days, he was screwed.

     Alexander was stubborn, though; he hadn't told any of his friends at all. Not Hercules Mulligan, not Gilbert Lafayette (who preferred being called by his last name over his first), and especially not John Laurens.

     He sighed as he finished writing down a sentence. _Well, they're going to find out sooner or later._

—

The next morning, Alexander emailed his writings to the New York Post as usual. Then he went out to meet John Laurens for a coffee.

     "Alex!" John said, smiling, when he saw Alexander.

     "Hey, John," Alexander said tiredly, running a hand through his hair. Which, now that he thought about it, he hadn't brushed yet. He sighed inwardly, thinking he probably looked horrible anyways.

     John grabbed Alexander by the shoulders and looked him up and down. "Alex, are you okay?"

     "Yeah, yeah, John, I’m fine," Alexander protested.

     John scowled exasperatedly at him. "No, you’re not, Alex. You are literally only wearing one sock. How many hours of sleep did you get last night? Two? Three?"

     Alexander shrugged sheepishly, half grinning. "Uh . . . fifteen minutes?"

     "Alright, that’s it," John said. "We’re going back to your apartment. Right now. No buts, Alex!"

     Naturally, Alexander tried to protest anyway, but John insisted.

     And soon enough, they were at his apartment.

     And of course, John Laurens just _had_ to be the type of friend who always went through your fridge and pantry in search of something to  eat.

     "Hey Alex?" Alexander heard from the kitchen.

_Shit._

     "Yeah?" Alexander called back, trying to sound nonchalant.

     "Why don’t you have any food in your kitchen besides milk, bananas, and half a package of Nabisco crackers?"

     Alexander froze like a deer in headlights as John stuck his head suspiciously into the room.

     "Have you been having money problems again?" his friend demanded. "Why didn’t you tell us?!"

      Alexander scratched the back of his neck embarrassedly. "Well, I didn’t want to —"

     "You didn’t want to what, Alex, take our money?" John asked. "You know we’re friends, right?"

     "I know," said Alexander, his cheeks burning.

     "Well then why didn’t you tell us?!"

     "Because I thought I could make it on my own, and —" Alexander's iPhone rang, cutting him off.

     It was his landlord.

     " _Your rent’s due today, Mr. Hamilton_ ," squawked the voice over the phone.

     "Can I have another week?"

     " _I already gave you another week, Mr. Hamilton! Pay up by six o’clock tonight or you’re getting thrown out onto the streets!_ "

     "Wait! I can pay you soon! I just —" But the call had already ended.

     "What is is this time?" John asked him drily.

     "My landlord’s throwing me out if I can’t pay him by six."

     "Alex!" John threw his hands up in frustration. "You know what? You’re moving in with me. No buts; I can help you get your things packed."

—

John’s place was actually pretty nice, even though there were like ten million turtle things in it. He had a house not that far from Alexander’s apartment, and luckily Alexander didn't have much that really needed to moved. A lot of books and papers, a fold-up chair and table, his clothes, his sheets and pillows, and a small TV, among other things, were put into both John’s and Alexander’s cars, and with the combined vehicles, it only took around three trips.

     "Thanks, John," Alexander said, sitting on the corner of the extra bed in his friend’s guest room.

     "No problem, Alex," John said, taking a sip of the water he was drinking.

     "No, really," Alexander said. After all, John had literally cleared a room in his house (most of the contents of a guest room) just to house a friend.

     "Really, Alex, I don’t mind."

     "Well, it means a lot to me, John. You’re amazing."


	2. CHAPTER TWO

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In a Carry-On-ian turn of events, we move into John's point of view.

John Laurens was internally screaming.

     Alexander Hamilton just called him amazing! The guy he’d been crushing on for months!

_Just stay cool, John. Stay cool._

     "Oh, thanks, Alex."

     "No problemo."

     John started to leave, but before he could he remembered what he’d been meaning to tell Alex for a few weeks now.

     "Hey, Alex?"

     Alex turned around from putting the rest of a box of books on the bookshelf. "Yeah?"

     "I just thought that," he began nervously, "like, if we’re going to be living together, you should, uh, know that . . . I’m gay."

     Alex looked a little surprised for a moment. "Really?"

     "Yeah," he answered.

     "Oh, well, I don’t mind at all!" Alex smiled.

     John grinned. "Alright, Alex. If you need me, I’ll be in my room."

—

Luckily, John’s room was on the other side of the house. It was lucky because as soon as he got to his room, he flopped down on his bed and, relieved, sighed loudly.

     No one can really blame him for being relieved. I mean, a guy’s crush not only moves in with him, but also says he's fine with the guy's gayness.

     And on the same day, too.

     John lay back on his bed, grinning inanely up at the ceiling. _Alex isn't homophobic! What if he's gay too?!_

     Then he sat up. What would his extremely-Christian father say?

     John shook his head. _No_ , he thought. _Dad can’t control me. Besides, none of the Holy Trinity ever said anything about homosexuality being bad._

_Did they?_

     John shook his head again, only more vigorously this time. _I am_ not _being controlled by some dead guys!_

     That's probably a good philosophy for one's life, but John was raised as a Christian, so he — as unfortunate and ironic as it is — had some serious internalized homophobia. The poor guy.

—

The next day at around lunchtime, John noticed that Alex hadn't come down for lunch or breakfast yet. He knew it was the guy's tendency to work his butt off and miss meals, showers, and even sleep.

     Idiot.

     So he went up to his friend's new room and knocked on the door.

     And, of course, immediately he heard a bunch of loud thumps, a crash, a curse, and a few more thumps.

     Alex opened the door.

     There he was — how to even describe the state he was in? His hair, which wasn't in a ponytail yet, was messy, and he had a ponytail holder around his wrist. He was half shirtless, with the t-shirt he was going to wear kind of around his neck and draped mostly over his torso, so John couldn't see _all_ of his chest. His jeans were mostly on, but weren't tugged up past his upper thighs, so John could see the upper half of his boxers. And his socks weren't even fully on. And on top of that, he was hopping up and down, struggling to pull his jeans up.

     John felt his face go bright red.

     "Morning," Alex said, grinning, still trying and failing to pull up his pants with one hand.

     John averted his eyes, looking up at the ceiling and inwardly praying. "You're a mess, you know that?"

     "Yeah, I know."

     "Did you fall asleep at your desk again, Alex?"

     Alex's face went completely blank.

     John laughed. "You're a dork."

     Alexander grinned and pulled his t-shirt down. "Okay, turtle-boy."


	3. CHAPTER THREE

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Back in Alexander's point of view, we discover ~awkwardness~.

It had been about three months since Alexander had moved into John's house. He was settling in pretty nicely, although he was a little disgruntled about John's habit of constantly trying to get him to eat and sleep when he hadn't in a while.

     Although that was just stuff about well-being, so it wasn't that bad.

     Actually, Alexander kind of _liked_ it when John tried to take care of him.

     He would never admit it though.

     Alexander shook himself out of his daydream and continued writing. ‘ _He smiled and put his gun away. "Let's find out, shall we?”_ ’

     Yeah, that's right. Alexander Hamilton was writing a novel. Actually, for the man who wrote like he was running out of time, it wasn't all that surprising.

     Alexander finished the chapter, then closed his laptop, stretching.

     His eyes snapped open.

      _Oh, shit! I forgot to talk to John about inviting the guys over!_

     Long story short, he had invited Hercules and Lafayette over and hadn't even told John yet.

     Alexander jumped up and ran out the door of his room, down the hall, and into John's room.

     Big mistake.

     They both froze, John in the process of getting dressed.

     Basically, Alexander had run into John's room at the exact wrong time. John had only his underwear on. Nothing else.

     They stayed frozen, staring at each other, for a little longer. Then Alexander looked away and backed out of the room. He closed the door and leaned against it.

     "Sorry, John," he said after a moment.

     "It's fine," he heard from inside his friend's bedroom.

     "I guess I just wasn't thinking."

     "No, Alex, it's okay. I know what you're like sometimes." John's voice was completely devoid of all anger or resentment, though he definitely sounded embarrassed. Alexander could picture his face: freckled face bright red, greenish eyes half-closed with the eyelashes shading them.

     "Yeah, I guess I can be a little forgetful most of the time."

     "That must be why you write," John said after a moment. "Always writing, always writing. Must write everything down."

     Alexander managed a small, sad laugh. "Yep, that's me."

—

When John was eating breakfast, Alexander sat down across from him.

     John looked up from his Krispy Rice. "Oh. Hi, Alex." He looked away, blushing, and bit his lip nervously.

     For some reason, Alexander smiled at that. And, of course, in the process, momentarily forgot what he was going to say.

     Jesus Christ.

     After a couple seconds of grappling with his words, Alexander finally said, "Hi."

     JESUS CHRIST.

     Both men were silent for a moment before Alexander finally remembered what he had originally come to talk to John about.

     "Hey, John," he said as nonchalantly as possible, "would you be okay with inviting Hercules and Lafayette over on Saturday?"

     "Sure," John answered, shrugging, "as long as they don't trash my house aga — Did you already invite them?!"

     "Uh, may have. By accident."

     John rolled his eyes at Alexander good-naturedly. "You know, you're really annoying, Hamilton."

     "Love you too, Laurens."


	4. CHAPTER FOUR

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> John's point of view. Hercules and Lafayette come over, and Alex gets drunk. More blushing.

At this rate, John was going to die of happiness, living with Alexander Hamilton.

     And — wait.

     "Hey, Alex, did you tell the guys you moved in with me?" he asked as casually as he could.

     "Uh, no, actually. I just said I was going to watch some movies or something with you at your house and asked if they wanted to come  over."

     "Oh, okay," John said, inwardly sobbing with relief.

     "We can tell them about it when they come over, though!"

     John had to take a deep breath to keep himself from screaming. "I guess."

     "Alright." Alex nodded curtly at him and stood up. "Glad to see that's settled." He left the room.

     "Go take a shower!" John called after him.

—

Well, it was Saturday night, and Lafayette and Hercules were going to be here any minute.

     John was going to die.

     He was just pacing (mostly thinking about Alex and stressing over how pretty he was, but also worrying a little bit over Lafayette and Hercules always teasing him about his admittedly MASSIVE crush on the guy) when the doorbell rang.

     "I'LL GET IT!" he yelled.

     "OKAY!" he heard Alex shout from somewhere on the other side of the house.

     John raced down the stairs and opened the door. Hercules and Lafayette, who lived in the same apartment building and always came in the same car, were here.

     "Yo!" said Hercules. "John! Alex already here?"

     "Yeah," he answered.

     "Yes, this is what we thought," Lafayette said, in his charming French accent. "We saw his car in the driveway on our way in."

     Hercules lowered his voice. "Where is the little man?"

     "Probably in his room."

     Herc and Lafayette looked at each other with infuriating little grins on their faces.

     "His _room_?" Hercules asked knowingly.

     "Do you mean to say, John," Lafayette said a bit smugly, "that he has _moved in_ with you?"

     John blushed and bit his lip.

     "So it _is_ true," Lafayette said to Hercules triumphantly.

     "Guys, _please_ don't tell him!" John pleaded. "I haven't told him yet and I want to be the one to do it."

     "Relax, little bro," Hercules said in his raspy voice as Lafayette ruffled his hair. "We won't tell him. We're not _that_ mean."

     John exhaled. "Thanks."

—

They ended up watching some Doctor Who because, as Hercules put it, Alex was a "f***ing nerd." Nobody minded much, though; all four of the friends liked Doctor Who.

     They started with "The Girl in the Fireplace" to make Lafayette happy, then watched a few episodes set in America: "The Impossible Astronaut" two-parter, and then of course the "Daleks in Manhattan" two-parter and "The Angels Take Manhattan".

     Of course, Hercules and Alex had started a drinking contest where they each took a shot every time someone said "Doctor," which had left both of them really drunk. Lafayette had stayed sober so he could drive Herc home, and John didn't get drunk often, so he only had a small glass.

     "Alright Hercules," Lafayette said, "I think you've had enough for the night. Let's go."

     By the time Lafayette had wrestled Herc into the drunk man's car, John was considering going to bed.

     Unfortunately, Alex hadn't passed out yet.

     That was one of the only things about Alex; if you got him drunk enough, he'd end up throwing up somewhere or breaking something. And unfortunately, Alex tended to get drunk easily.

     John, thinking about this, blinked. _Whoa_ , he thought, _I might really be in love._

     It was at just that moment that Alex (who had previously been lying on the ground, hiccuping every so often and then bursting into little fits of giggles after each _hic_ ) stood up and kind of lurched his way over.

     "Heyyyy Johnnn," Alex slurred, collapsing on the couch next to him.

     "Hi, Alex."

     "Your eyyyyyes are pretty," Drunk Alex said, reaching up to touch John's face.

     John just let him.

     Alex rolled onto his belly and moved his gaze ( _or gayze, haha_ ) down to John's lap. "I think your pantsss look hot."

     "They're blue jeans."

     "Laurensss, I like youuuu a lot," Alex said sleepily, then promptly passed out, his head coming to rest in John's lap.

     John sighed and picked Alex up the best he could (the guy was surprisingly heavy for a string bean), then carried him up to his room.

     John set him down on the bed and tucked him in. Then, not thinking about what he was doing, he kissed Alex's forehead.

     And as he left, he heard Alexander snuffle contentedly in his sleep.


	5. CHAPTER FIVE

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alexander's point of view, in which he wakes up with a hangover and discovers something off about John.

Alexander woke up with a bad headache and John sitting on his bed with a cup of coffee and an aspirin for him.

      The first thing he had noticed when he woke up was the headache. Alexander had pressed his hands to his head and moaned.

     "You okay, Alex?" That was John, the second thing he had noticed.

     "No," he answered sleepily, flipping over to press his face into a pillow.

     "I got a coffee and an aspirin for you," John offered.

     "In a minute," Alexander groaned.

     After at least ten minutes, Alexander finally sat up and took the coffee and pill.

     "Thanks, John."

     "You're welcome."

     After a moment of silence, John finally spoke again.

     "How much of last night do you remember?"

     Alexander furrowed his brow and thought hard. . . . _Passing out . . . Laughing at human Dalek Sec_ . . . Drunkenly flirting with John?!

     His eyes widened and he felt his cheeks burn.

     John leaned forward and picked a piece of fuzz out of Alexander's hair. "All of it, I'm guessing."

     Alexander nodded.

     He watched as John's greenish eyes searched his face.

     "Alexander," John finally said quietly, "do you . . . Do you . . . _like_ me?"

     Alexander thought.

     "I don't know, John."

     John nodded slowly and left the room.

—

After that, Alexander started noticing that there was something . . . off . . . about John. He could never quite pinpoint what it was, but it was there.

     One day a few months after the morning of the hangover, he sat down next to John and took his hand. He didn't know why, but he did.

     "John . . . "

     John put his hand over Alexander's and looked up at him with tired eyes that were a mixture of worried and sad.

     "John, I . . . Are you okay?"

     John nodded wearily.

     "No, John. You're not okay. You're quieter than you've ever been and . . . " Alexander swallowed. "I just want the real John back, okay?"

     John looked away, but kept his hand over Alexander's.

     "John, please. Please, please, just . . . Just tell me what's wrong."

     John closed his eyes and inhaled slowly, then opened his eyes.

     He was . . . _crying_.

     That was even worse. Alexander had _never_ seen John cry. He started to panic a little.

     Then John spoke.

     "Alex, I . . . I think . . . I think I'm in love with you. I get butterflies in my stomach when I see you and it hurts so much to be near you but it's more amazing than anything and I _know_ you have flaws but I just don't _care_ and you're just so _beautiful_ — I can't get you out of my head and    I . . . I just love you, okay?"

     John put his head in his hands and his shoulders started shaking with sobs.

     "What's my dad gonna think?" he sobbed. "I was supposed to be his perfect religious Christian boy, and I even failed at that. . . . "

     Alexander wrapped his arms around John and gently shifted him into his lap. John hugged Alexander and put his head on his shoulder, still crying. Alexander started rubbing John's back. "Shh, I know, I know," he murmured into the other man's ear. "Shh, I know, I know."

     After a while, John finally sort of calmed down, and Alexander murmured, "Okay, John, calm down. Calm down."

     John took in a few shuddering breaths.

     "Let's count to ten, John," he whispered. "Count to ten. One . . . "

     John sniffled. "Two."

     "Three . . . Four . . . Five . . . " they said together. "Six . . . Seven . . . Eight . . . Nine . . . Ten."

     Alexander smiled at John. John smiled shakily back.

—

Alex smiled at me; I smiled shakily back at him.

     Then Alexander Hamilton cupped my face and pressed his lips to mine.


	6. CHAPTER SIX

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Basically, an epilogue.

Alex carried John into his bedroom. That is, John's bedroom. The bed with the turtle coverlet was big enough for two and Alex immediately set John on the bed and then left to go get his pajamas.

     John quickly changed into his turtle pajama pants and oversized purple sweatshirt. By the time he was done, Alex was back in the room.

     Alex smiled at him. "Nice pajamas."

     "What?" John shrugged. "I _like_ turtles."

     Alex started changing into his pajamas. He never took off his underwear, which was definitely fine by John, but he actually wasn't quite the string bean John had imagined. Not very scrawny, but not very muscular either, and definitely not fat. Just skinny.

     In any case, John couldn't really take his eyes away.

     Alex looked back at him and smirked. "You haven't even seen the whole thing yet."

     "You know, actually I'd prefer not to."

     Alex looked confused. "What?"

     John grinned. "Actually, it's the reason I'm still a . . . You know."

     Alex squinted at him. "I don't . . . What? How are you . . . ?"

     John took a deep breath. "Actually, I haven't completely finished coming out to you yet."

     Realization dawned on Alex's face. "You're asexual, right?"

     John nodded. "Yep. Asexual homoromantic."

     "Cool," Alex said, getting into bed with John and wrapping his arms around him.

      _This is amazing_ , John thought. _Just on this day two years ago I wouldn't be legally allowed to be with him. And now . . ._

     Alex kissed John on the cheek. "I love you."

     "Love you too, Hamilton."

**Author's Note:**

> Soooooo I wrote this in a day.
> 
> yep. second of july. 12 am. random ADHD child tumblring and suddenly i go, "i should write a fic."
> 
> so i started writing.
> 
> well, i guess you could say i'm . . . 
> 
> nONNNNN-STOP.


End file.
